Weight should be like virginity.
Once you lose it you can’t get it back.
Ohhhh. I thought you were gonna say “Weight should be like virginity: a societal ideal by which we shouldn’t measure our personal worth.”
B A M
1 follower = egg
10-40 followers = hatchling
50-99 followers = baby dragon
100-349 followers = dragon
350-500 followers = still a dragon
501-799 followers = mega dragon
800- 4,999 followers = super hella dragon
5000+ followers = UNHOLY OFFSPRING OF LIGHTNING AND DEATH
These are the legit numbers.
I’ve upgraded to mega dragon btw I might do a showout thing for my followers
❝ Where did the fifth prisoner go?"
“I misplaced my spear in him.❞
That fifth prisoner, in disguise as a guard, to the captain of the guard. (via outofcontextdnd)
Wizard:Are those bats?
Druid: No, they’re flying mice.
Wizard: So, bats.
Druid: No, we adopted a mouse tribe and gave them little magic wings.
❝ Have you been dealing in The Drugs?❞
Alchemist to rogue after spinning a tale of mermaids to the recently revived druid (via outofcontextdnd)
"What is with you and shooting things?!"
"I-I’m a gunslinger!"❞
Party Fighter to Party Gunslinger (via outofcontextdnd)
❝ I came out here to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling attacked right now.❞
Paladin after activating pretty much every trap. (via outofcontextdnd)
Our Inquisitor gives a speech trying to explain to the council of a town that they should be careful and not take out their fear and hate on the entirety of another race of nomadic humans…
DM: “You all get the feeling that they’re hearing what you say, but you can kind of tell that they’re not really taking in the words the way that you were hoping.”
Sorcerer: “The wheel’s turning, but the hamster is racist.”